Saturday, November 06, 2004

Kubler-Ross for DNC Chair

Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

The Daily Kos is floating some names as replacements for Terry McAuliffe. I'd like to propose a new one: Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. She can help the Democrats through the five stages of grief:

Denial: Conspiracy theories are our denial mechanism. Face it - the guy won. We won't find four million stolen votes. Sure they might've grabbed a few here and there. We need to let them know we're watching (which is why I support Black Box Voting), but whatever we find will have just been a practice run for next time. The electorate really voted this way, and we should plan our lives accordingly.

Anger: Dr. K-R taught us to accept this emotion, unjudged. It is healthy. It will motivate us for the task ahead. Don't stay in this stage too long, however, or you will burn out. We need steady combustion for the next four years, so let's not explode in a brief ragingl fire. We have work to do.

Bargaining: This stage is best represented by those who call for cooperation or negotiation with the Republicans. As Cass Sunstein effectively points out in Salon (yes, it's a subscription link, but you should subscribe anyway), this is a futile effort. Just ask Tom Daschle.

Depression: Many of us went straight to this stage. Fine. We've broken out the George Jones records, watched old film noir DVDs, engaged in "risk-taking behavior," or survived for days on nothing but coffee and comfort food. Feel better? Now let's get to work.

Acceptance: In this case, acceptance does not meet silently withdrawing to meet our fate. It means accepting that we're at war. Acceptance means fighting. Remember, we're looking for "closure." You want closure? This is life during wartime - welcome to the Resistance.

So I vote Elizabeth! She's the one. And her accent's more authoritative than Arnold's. Sure, she's passed away herself and that's unfortunate. On the other hand, Bob Shrum's died, what, like seven times already? The Democrats still turn to him. Dr. Kubler-Ross, this is your moment.