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Night Light has moved. We are a little too visually-oriented for the blogspot.com environment. Come visit us at our new digs, http://nightlight.typepad.com. We've converted all of our old posts and sorted them by categories.

Comments and suggestions about the new format are welcome. Speaking of comments, they unfortunately didn't come along with the move, but we appreciate all the feedback and home to here now.

Y'all stop by now ...

sky captain and the budget of tomorrow

home, mr. president?

Bush dares evoke FDR? Under Roosevelt we lived in a country where the President made poor children’s dreams come true. Now it’s the other way around. Welfare programs have been cut to the point of endangering the health of children, yet a $6.1 billion dollar order has been placed for 23 high-tech Presidential helicopters, a gee-whiz fantasy for a self-obsessed leader. Low-income kids in DC will experience “food insecurity” (.pdf file) while the President rides above them to Camp David in his new “Oval Office in the Sky,” giving new life to Zola’s observation that to some, freedom means that “the poor man is just as free to sleep under a bridge as the rich man is to ride over it in his carriage.”

Veterans medical services are being cut, yet the new Presidential copter fleet is on its way. So those who sacrificed the most during wartime will tighten their budgets and do without the essentials, but no belt-tightening is forecast for the Imperial White House. Why 23? There’s only one of him, unless you count Cheney, in which case there are two. And how much time does he spend in a helicopter, anyway? Doesn’t he just use them to get to and from Air Force One and Camp David?

For the non-math-inclined among you, that’s an individual cost of more than $265,000,000 for each helicopter. I can’t get my hands on the line item budget cuts yet, so the numbers are approximate, but imagine: Cut a couple helicopters and you can restore the Park Service budget. Cut ten and you can restore veterans’ health. Cut 21 of them – leaving one for the President and one for “Go F**k Yourself” – and you can restore the physical and emotional health of millions of children who are underfed. Cut all of them and you can protect 3,000 U.S. airliners from missile attack by terrorists.

I’m not suggesting the President should be left unprotected from terrorist attack, and if there is some cost in retrofitting his vehicles to protect them from rocket launchers, let’s spend what it takes. But an “Oval Office in the Sky?" When he spends more time vacationing away from the one on the ground than any President in history?

We have other options. For instance, we could replace both the Presidential helicopter and the Presidential limousine with one of these nifty flying cars:

here's my favorite:

Cool, huh? And cheaper than what he's getting. Or, he could inspire the country by showing that he’s willing to economize, too. Then this could be his new flying vehicle:

On the other hand … Some of us will read what has happened to those hungry children, and then see what he has planned for their mothers, veterans, and others in need, and may think this is as good as he deserves:

(picture courtesy of jalopnik.com and the Ugliest Car Competition)

Maybe it’s time for the President to learn what a lot of other Americans have learned. You go to the office with the vehicle you have, not the vehicle you wish you had.

hot licks

the media critic's guru, Dan Hicks

Although he fails to give Dan Hicks his props for his post's title, I will give James Wolcott grudging admiration for the best and most readable blog entry of the week. But don't miss out on Dan Hicks. Talented, mercurial, misanthropic, seemingly alcoholic, Hicks has it all. Oh - he also sings and plays guitar and writes songs.

For those of you who don't know, Dan Hicks and his Hot Licks were a San Francisco Bay Area attraction during the 60's and 70's, distinguished most by their utter lack of any relationship to anything else happened there at the time , musically or culturally. Hicks drew his inspiration from classic country, folk, and jazz (heavy on the swing), and relied on acoustic guitar & bass, jump-jivin' fiddle, and two female backup singers to carry the day. The 70's dance/rock/soul act Kid Creole and the Coconuts owed a lot to Hicks' style, and he is overdue for a revival. In a Bay Area suffused with shoulder-length hair (for men), granny dresses, and beads, Hicks dressed in pinstripe suits and fedoras and his Lickettes were dolled up like gun molls.

Classic Hicks favorites included the Jimmie Rodgers-derived "Reelin' Down," a drifter's ballad, and the swinging ode to domestic decomposition, "Is This My Happy Home?" Then there was his best-known tune, consciously or otherwise referenced by Wolcott, "How Can I Miss You When You Won't Go Away." Lesser-known songs also hold great pleasures. My favorite is the haunting yet swinging fiddle-driven story of obsession, "I Scare Myself." Escapists among you will appreciate his response to the rash of reported UFO kidnappings in the 70's, simply titled "Hell, I'll Go."

Oh, Wolcott's post is great too.

social (security) drinking

cocktail party debate briefing book: entry #1

We need to know what to say when people bring up Social Security, particularly in business or family situations where we don't want to be confrontational. As an ongoing public service, Night Light will be offering suggested responses or conversational gambits to be used whenever the topic comes up. Here suggestion #1:

"Don't you think it's funny that the guy who ran up the biggest deficits in history is so worried about the one government program that isn't going to have any funding problems for forty years?"

If you feel it's necessary, you can then add, "Just asking."

of michael jackson

he's moonwalking

In an interview with MTV, Michael Jackson described his ability to withstand criticism with the unfortunate phrase, "I've got rhinoceros skin." That explains a lot, especially since the word "rhinoceros" is derived from the Greek and Latin words for "nose horn."

In fact, zoologists have recently discovered that Jackson illegally acquired the skin of a rhinoceros and had it surgically grafted on to his body. They have determined that Jackson acquired the skin of the rare white rhinoceros, which as you will see here has not one but two nose horns. You will also see that birds frequently perch on the white rhinoceros. There is no evidence to suggest that Michael Jackson is a nesting site or rookery for any avian species.

The white rhinoceros has become an endangered species, since people hunt it in the mistaken belief that its nose has aphrodisiac properties. Such deeply-embedded folkways take a long time to die. This is demonstrated by the fact that anthropologists have also discovered people that buy the albums Jackson has made since "Thriller."

The rhino's nose, unlike Jackson's, cannot be easily removed. This has led to the widespread killing of these fine animals. The white rhino lives on tall grass that it eats while it walks. Unlike its newest predator, the rhinoceros only walks in a forward direction, which is why this form of food consumption is possible.

The white rhinoceros has not been charged with any crimes, nor has it ever grabbed its own crotch. It is Michael Jackson, however, and not the white rhino, that brought Eddie Van Halen in to play that brilliant guitar solo on "Beat It." This does not indemnify him in the court of musical taste for having sung "Man in the Mirror."

While the court process is underway, feel free to choose: Who do you support more and why: Michael Jackson, or the white rhino?

democrats for torture

i'd like to thank the people who voted for me ...

... especially those Democrats who crossed party lines to support me on the moral issue of their lifetime. I'm the Spirit of Abu Ghraib, and I'm here to acknowledge the little people - the truly little people - who have made me what I am today. Like they say, without you I'm nothing. These U.S. senators have told their nation and the world that they endorse the man who said the Geneva Convention's provisions were "quaint, " and that torture was fine until it simulated the pain of "organ failure or death." Before I thank these fine people by name, I have a question: How do you know exactly how painful organ failure or death is unless you've experienced it yourself? Maybe these six American solons can tell us, since they've experienced the failure of their hearts and the death of their consciences.

And now, a big shout out and all my love to:

Joseph Lieberman of Connecticut: Joe, I always knew I could count on you.
Ken Salazar of Colorado
Mary Landrieu of Louisiana
Bill Nelson of Florida
Ben Nelson of Nebraska
Mark Pryor of Arkansas

And let's not forget those 54 Republicans , too. To all 60 of you, I can only say in closing: you complete me.

- The Spirit of Abu Ghraib

"I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just." Thomas Jefferson

wild about harry

the trouble with harry is ...

... nothing. Not a damn thing. In fact, this is one hell of a good guy. I was displeased when he was chosen for the job, and I had some words about it at the time. You know what? When I eat that crow tonight I hope I find some white meat. I honor Harry Reid today, the man who said this about the nomination of Alberto Gonzales:

Because of our unshakable belief in human rights, we became a ray of light, a beacon for people in other parts of the world. America has been that beacon because we are a nation governed by laws, not by men ...

We are a nation where no one, not even the President of the United States,is above the law. We are a nation where our military is bound by the uniform Code of Military Justice and the laws of war. And we are a nation that even at war stands for and upholds the rule of law.

... We need to stand against torture because of what it does to us as a country, to those serving now, to the future servicemen of our country, and what it does to us as a nation.

If we fail to oppose an evil as obvious as torture -- it is an evil and it is obvious it is wrong--then as President Thomas Jefferson said, I will "tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just."

Thanks to Armando at DailyKos (who's turning out to be my kind of guy) for highlighting these words. Harry Reid, I was wrong about you. I assumed that your political history and your warm statements toward Bush meant that you would be a Neville Chamberlain Democrat. I could not have been more mistaken. You have not only stood forthrightly for what is great and good about this country, but you have done so eloquently and with honor. I applaud your last sentence, for it reminds us all that the government's tolerance of torture makes a mockery of the spiritual values our leaders claim to uphold.

"I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just." Thomas Jefferson


'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the
least of these my brethren, you did it to me.'
Matthew 25:31-40

of nugent, seger, and the politics of the atom

ted nugent: is he a pion, a lepton, or a kaon?

I got badly scratched by the house feline yesterday. I was afraid I would come down with cat scratch fever, but luckily the incubation period passed without symptoms. Thank God. I try to avoid catching any diseases that share their names with Ted Nugent songs, which made last year’s crippling bout of Wango Tango particularly upsetting.

I'll ruminate on Ted today, but save my praise for Bob Seger. If you haven’t checked him out lately, you really should. He’s under-appreciated. And I’ll wind up suggesting how modern politics can be explained using particle physics. Can you guess which particle Don Rumsfeld is? Bear with me, and maybe it will make more sense that either you or I are expecting right now.

You may remember Ted Nugent, the marginally successful rock singer and guitarist from the 70’s. The Michigan-based Nugent, who is almost universally looked down upon by his fellow musicians, made a name for himself as an aggressively right-wing pro-meat eating hunter. He has been able to extend a languishing entertainment career by embracing these conservative positions, which I guess makes him the musical Dennis Miller. Or makes Christopher Hitchens the literary Ted Nugent.

But (and this is important enough to break the rules and start a paragraph with “but”) – I’m not going to go after “the Nuge,” as he is called. No. Hitchens was enough. Joseph Campbell used to quote the old Irish saying, “Is this a private fight or can anyone join in?” Nevertheless, there are some bar brawls even I don’t consider worth jumping into. (I shouldn’t end a sentence with “into”, either – but it doesn’t sound right to say “There are some bar brawls into which even I won’t consider jumping.”)

I admit to having at times been morbidly fascinated with Ted Nugent. I once saw him perform and, while I wasn’t moved, he seemed to induce a fist-pumping, beer-spraying, halter-top-removing response from the men and women (respectively) in the crowd. My fascination was with Ted, though – his extraordinary self-confidence in the absence of apparent musicianship was extraordinary to watch. And I mean that in (sort of) a good way.

Michigan is also the home of Bob Seger who, unlike Nugent, is highly talented. He is the author of the drug-bust masterpiece “Get Out of Denver,” with its speeded up Chuck Berry riffs and lyrics that update the literary narrative style of … well, Chuck Berry. “You look just like a commie and you might just be a member,” says a hostile cop to the hippie protagonist. “Get out of Denver.”

(click on "Permalink Page" to talk more Seger, analyze the Nuge, and help create the new field of politico-physics)

As a native blue-stater, Seger encountered the same anti-longhair violence I and others did in other parts of the country back in the day. In the mournful “Turn the Page,” his masterpiece description of life on the road, he captures the feeling we all had on entering a back-country diner in “counterculture” dress and facing the hostile stares:

Some times you can’t hear ‘em talk, other times you can
it’s all the same clichés, “Is that a woman or a man?”
but there’s more them than there are of us, no way to make a stand

No way to make a stand. To young, peace-and-music loving men who still needed to feel macho, that “fight ‘em if you can” stand felt like a battle cry. It apparently provided inspiration for Metallica, who later covered the song. Seger was a hard-rocker who finally hit it big late in his career when he switched to power ballads. He even sang “Against the Wind” with The Eagles, with its simple yet powerful line on the pain of aging, “wish I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then.”

Seger’s crowning achievement for me comes in the last verse of “Night Moves,” an unfortunately overplayed but still powerful ballad. The song starts as a relatively shallow reminiscence on his first sexual experience. It has a strong melody, and builds up in intensity before dropping away to a near-whisper for these final words, made even more powerful by the way they seem to appear as a complete non sequitur:

Woke last night to the sound of thunder
How far off? I sat and wondered
started humming a song from 1962

ain’t it funny how the night moves
with Autumn closing in?

It has a powerful, haiku-like feel and structure, even down to the seasonal reference traditionally required for that form of poetry. I said it felt like a non sequitur, but of course it’s not. Its elegiac tone summons the loss of youth, the yearning for what’s gone, and the sense of the nearness of death. It gives the recollections of backseats and breasts a much deeper meaning, and is the work of a very gifted writer.

So if the music doesn’t sound too dated to you, and you want to reconnect with Bob, you can buy his stuff here.

Back to the Nuge: I was a teenager, I think, when Ted began to “come out” as a conservative. I remember reading an interview in Rolling Stone where he espoused views about guns that were almost militia-like. Michigan, a state where I once briefly lived, certainly likes its guns. Hunting season was distinguished by the lines of cars returning from the Upper Peninsula on Sunday nights with deer tied over a fender or on the roof. That was not a familiar sight from my blue-state youth.

Something Nugent said in the interview fascinated me. Talking of his own importance, he said “I am the nucleus. I have life d**ked.” I was raised to be self-effacing, studious, and considerate of others. The fact that I lost many of these habits for many years never changed the fact that I assumed they were equally important to others. My reaction to “I have life d**ked” was to marvel that someone would consider life something to be penetrated, speared, and otherwise conquered like that. It was inconceivable to me.

I am … the nucleus?? As I say, I was raised to be self-effacing. As a younger child, the idea that I might be the center of anything seemed inconceivable. As a global statement of self-importance and indifference to others, this attitude was foreign enough to my thinking that it genuinely filled me with a sense of wonder that was greater than the repulsion I also felt.

I’m not trying to score cheap political points when I say that the attitude I get from this Administration – Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, and Ashcroft in particular – bas been very similar to Nugent’s. The famous smirk, Cheney’s parka at Auschwitz, Rumsfeld blithe “democracy is messy” dismissal of tragedy – seem to me to scream out that these actors feel they are the nuclei, and that they do indeed “have life d**ked.” I have them same amazed horror toward their actions that I did as a teenager reading the Nugent interview. It is foreign to me.

Is it a conservative thing? Not necessarily, and not with older-school conservatives. Tucker Carlson may have it, but Bob Dole certainly doesn’t. George Will may have it, but Pat Buchanan’s too “hot” (in McLuhan terminology) and doesn’t. These guys in Washington do, though. So naturally, my wife being out of town and me having time on my hands, I started to wonder: which people make up the other parts of the atom?

For example, is Bush alone the nucleus, or is Cheney kind of a co-nucleus with him? If they share, is Bush the protons and Cheney the neutrons or vice versa? Are the Cabinet members the electrons? Did Colin Powell have a negative charge, because he wasn’t “nucleus-minded” enough, and is that why he was repelled? Was he that electron you see getting expelled in those physics experiments? Is the reason Bush won’t fire anybody for incompetence because they are bound to him – the nucleus – by the “strong force”? Is the rule of law the “weak force”?

If the cabinet members are electrons, who are the other particles – muons, for example? Muons are in cosmic rays and crash into other particles, but they’re unstable and quickly decay into something simpler. They are sort of like Libertarians, most of whom seem to winding up taking a straight conservative party line. Neutrinos have very little mass and pass through most things without any effect. Plus they change a lot, although they always stay neutrinos. They’ve gotta be your Democrats, right?

Photons generate light, of course. They can also be two things at once (“particle” or “wave”), and in two places at once. They change depend on who’s looking at them, according to the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. They are, of course, the media., although not a lot of light is being cast these days.

Time is reversible at the subatomic level, which is we are un-signing the Geneva Convention, undoing Social Security and other New Deal reforms, and making a progressive tax code more regressive. You liberals ought to stop being so upset about all this. If you knew your physics you’d understand. Instead of fulminating about some right-winger tonight, I challenge you to assign particle identities to some politicians yourself.

And that’s what I have to say because I got scratched by a cat.