Saturday, January 29, 2005

alien love

don't knock it 'til you've tried it

Why is this alien smiling?

Don't you think that with all this talk of alien anal probes, much of it as the result of a Harvard professor's work, that you'd want to avoid writing an article called The Gnostic Theory of Alien Intrusion? It's not about that.

Some people say it's all pseudoscience, but I think they're just afraid of trying new experiences. I'm waiting for that liberating weekend seminar at Esalen - "Rigelian Love Secrets." For it is only be embracing the alien outside us that we can learn to love the alien within. So what if you can't sit down for a few days? It's a small price to pay for becoming one with the erotosphere. Move over, Rev. Falwell, and stopping hogging the jacuzzi.

Aliens. Spongebob. Ken Mehlman. It's an epidemic.

They're all saying the same thing to the Dobsons and Falwells of this little world we call home: gay or straight or bi, all healthy sexuality is OK. Release that part of your personality that makes you think sexual thoughts about 'toons and other non-humans! Let him out of that closet you call your mind! Find your sexual heart now - before you make fools of yourselves again.

Hey, honey, I'm gonna put "Fly Me to the Moon" on the stereo. I feel the love comin' on.